Dinding. Lagi.

Pastinya setiap yang berlaku punya sebab tersendiri.

Walau terkadang aku sendiri tertanya apakah yang tersirat disebalik yang terjadi itu.

Namun ku gagahkan hati, percaya dengan setiap ketentuan Dia yang satu.

Mungkin belum masanya untuk aku temui erti disebaliknya.

Kerana kadangkala setiap yang terjadi itu bukanlah untuk dimengerti.

Di saat kita merasakan chemistry itu hampir tiba,

Kejadian demi kejadian berlaku memecahkan semuanya.

Dan disini, dinding itu muncul kembali.

Kekok.

Sukar.

Perit.

Aku rindu saat itu.

Aku ingin kembali ke situ.

Seharusnya dari awal aku membina dinding itu.

Supaya aku tak merasa perasaan yang begini.

Bukan senang untuk runtuhkan dinding yang pertama dulu.

Dan pastinya lebih sukar untuk dinding yang kedua ini.

Wahai aku. Terimalah kesudahan itu. Semuanya kerana aku. 

Missing.

Smiling with no reason. Why? You didn't even do something funny but I'm smiling like crazy seeing your name appearing on the screen. See? How did you do it? Seriously.

Shouldn't.

People said, some things better left unsaid. Today I believe it. Not all things should have been said. Sometimes it will be better if you didn't know the truth. Cuz it may be a little too late. Or may be not at the right time and right place. Just please, left it unsaid. I wish I could turn back times. And I never wanted to hear that one. Never.

Ever.

Do you ever feel like you wanna give up on things? When you don't know whether you've chosen the right one. Or your choice making someone else hurting. I don't know. Just hoping that everything is alrite. And I left it all to Allah swt. Will just follow the flow. Cuz I'm sure with the things I do at the moment.

S.A.Y.A.N.G.

6 weeks are too short. As usual, separation is the thing that everyone hates. 6 weeks isn't long but we managed to be this close in this short period. No more classes. No more energizer. No more Miss A's voice and advises for us. But the memories is still there. Just why are we becoming too close now I can't forget everything. And the places that we used to go together, I can't go alone at the moment. Their voices and presence still lingers around me. Will take time for it to be back to normal again.

And why...Why did they love to sing Sayang? I used to hate that song when I first heard. But later when one of my group member sang that song almost everyday, started to like it little by little. Then other class members keep singing that song and officially I turned out to love that song. Plus, our class guitarist sang that song too during the gathering while doing Truth or Dare game. I love how they sing with live guitar. And then last week classes, all of us keep singing that song. So now when listening to Shae's Sayang, I will always remember them all. Sweetest 6 weeks with them. Friendships, Relationships and Loves.=)

020213

Words that I wanna heard the most. Have been said by him. On 2nd February 2013 about 0100. Well, I'm cool maybe because I've been prepared for this. But thanks to him for making the first move and everything. Its true that he can't read my feelings toward him since I've controlled everything and now I want you to know that, the words that have been said by you last nite, is the words that I really wanna heard the most. And it comes from you. So I'll wait for the time that we'll be Halal for each other. I trust you. And I will try to improve myself too =)

Hiding.

Its for today. Friday. My friend's group and his group will be shooting a scene in my mom's shop. And so I waited for them in front. And when he arrive, with his innocent face he ask "You wait for who?" I'm just showing an annoying face. And he laughs. Lucky I can hold it in, if not, I will say that I'm waiting for him LOL.

Then one of friend shoot for her team. That scene demands her to be with X's friend. And then that friend of mine said that she can't act if he was the one who will be the cameraman. But I think if I am the cameraman, the whole video will be shaking. Yes he's there. They don't know cuz yea, I'm good enough that I can hide it all for myself only.

Later his turn and I am standing in front of the shop to watch him. But he with his cute face demands me to be away from him or else he can't focus on his acting. LOL funny you. Then on my part he observe everything. Lucky I can focus. He comment about my voice that can't be heard as clear. And his friend also teased me like usual. They said that I just need to talk like usual. Like how I always do when they teased me.

Oh, I missed one thing. While he's shooting his part, his notebook is with me. And my friend shows an eye sign for us to see what's inside. I think he's better than me. Everything in there is about classes, well organize. Yes, teacher-to-be of course he knows and plan everything. Then my friend said to me "D, he is quite handsome. Cuz with just normal cloth, he's still looking good. And I just nodded. I can't say too much, worried that everything inside will be exploded. Then she ask me once again what do I think about him. I just don't know how to react and just smile back at her. She said that he's a good guy and looking at his notebook yes, we can see that he's organized. I just let our conversation stops there cuz I don't know how to hide it more.

Only if she knows how much I like him. But it's okay. I always pray to Allah about my to-be. So He knows what's the best for me.